Normally, I don’t recommend me for wedding dresses – they all get a divorce.
All little girls dream of their wedding day. When they’re little, their fantasies start running around the groom, who, with no exception, is the spitting image of daddy. As they grow, their interest for the groom (who in the meantime can be someone else but daddy) moves in the background, totally eclipsed by the dress that will turn them from young princesses into queens.
Why is the wedding dress so important? Why does it become the center of gravity of the whole event? As this occasion allows her to live her dreams in the most ostentatious way, to shine more than ever, to focus upon her all the admiration of the entourage, and to reflect afterwards in all the splendor of her appearance.
When it comes to the model, any brides’ imagination irrupts. She begins to search, to find inspiration, to do permutations and combinations of n taken by k with different parts in different styles, ransacking and rummaging the huge virtual catalog in search for the unique, original, beautiful, expressive, challenging model… you name it, in one word, the perfect dress!
But sometimes fantasy goes beyond limits, crossing over the sacred and ceremonial perimeter of the event itself and soaring toward the unfenced areas of extravagance. Disproportionate, amazing, funny, or simply ridiculous, I present below a list of craziest ideas for wedding dresses, that you wouldn’t even imagine.
On this page:
- 1 A rose garden for a dress
- 2 Nuptial dress with peacock tail
- 3 Ballads and romances
- 4 A dress with a haystack
- 5 Ready for a tournament
- 6 A bride prepared for battle
- 7 I only have two hands
- 8 Pirate Bride
- 9 Mummy marriage
- 10 Art requires sacrifice
- 11 Dada... No!
- 12 Worn with a crinoline on the back of the neck
- 13 Hairdressed from head to toe
- 14 Russian doll is getting married!
- 15 Bridal veil 3 in 1
- 16 Perfect camouflage
- 17 A strongly accessorized dress
- 18 How would you like your wedding dress?
- 19 Something is missing from this dress
- 20 Tent bearer wedding dress
- 21 Bride taken... in the balloon
- 22 If you don't say yes, I'll cut you!
- 23 Illusion or disillusion...?
- 24 A light bride...
- 25 Hello Kitty! Farewell style!
- 26 White dress from toilet paper...
- 27 Wedding dress with petticoat vent
- 28 Bride-poodle
- 29 Pineapple shaped
- 30 The dog ate her dress
- 31 Wedding graffiti
- 32 High up over the clouds
- 33 Wool dress
- 34 Bride in a body
- 35 The veil is worth every penny
- 36 Wedding dress made of plastic bags
- 37 Brides with trouser
- 38 Love and soccer
- 39 Ball bride
- 40 Inflated bride
- 41 RRR style: Recycle, Recover, Reuse
- 42 The bed at the altar
- 43 Bunny Bride
- 44 If it's a wedding, let it be a carnival!
- 45 Show bride
- 46 Wedding dress with cake included
- 47 Disposable wedding dress
- 48 Oh bride, sweet bride!
- 49 Wedding bouquet
- 50 Canopy bride
- 51 Brides in underwear
- 52 Brides and mice
- 53 A dress that fits like... a glove
- 54 Prevention is better than cure
- 55 Wedding dress that shows the belly
- 56 Love passes, its fruits remain
- 57 Popcorn fantasy
- 58 Cold wedding
- 59 Close connection of love
- 60 Relight my fire
- 61 Horror couture
- 62 Leather belts
- 63 Black Widow
- 64 Latex wedding dress
- 65 Ghost bride
- 66 Marshmallow dress
- 67 The dress that feels the bride
- 68 Half animal, half vegetable
- 69 Alien Bride
A rose garden for a dress
Most fiancés, for Valentine’s Day, expect at best a dozen roses and a marriage proposal. Miss Bikini 2009, by her real name Yin Mi, was the lucky winner of such a love story.
Her boyfriend, Xiao Fan, chose to propose while she was wearing a dress made of 9,999 red roses. Bridal dress, of course, in case she would have accepted, because red is the traditional color for wedding dresses in China.
Well, you’ll ask, why 9,999 roses? Because the number 10,000 is, in Chinese legends, gods’ privilege. And for the story to be complete, he matched it with a white piece of clothing and a bunch of yellow orchids, which symbolizes love, beauty, and fertility 1)”The ultimate Valentine’s Day bouquet: Chinese man proposes to girlfriend with dress made from 9,999 real red roses” de Sadie Whitelocks, article published by Daily Mail on February 14, 20122)”Chinese Man Proposes to Girlfriend with Dress Made From 9,999 Roses” by Lori Zimmer, article published by Ecouterre on February 24, 2012.
Nuptial dress with peacock tail
Figuratively speaking, suppose that you’re Jennifer Lopez and you’re about to get married to Ben Affleck. Wouldn’t you like to “play the peacock”? But this is just gossip, because the two did not get married, but the wedding dress with a peacock tail is a fact. The 2009 work has peacock feathers, and is a nonconformist unique creation of Vera Wang with the cost of $1.5 million (assuming, hypothetically, that you can afford it) 3)”12 Of The Most Expensive Designer Wedding Dresses” by Amanda Lauren, article published by The Richest on December 16, 2014.
Ballads and romances
Little Bo Peep has sheared her sheep
To make a wedding dress…
A dress with a haystack
For grooms who want to spend their wedding night wallowing in the hay.
Ready for a tournament
Her heart is protected by gold mails. But I think he will settle for what’s left out.
A bride prepared for battle
But the sword?! Where’s sword?!
I only have two hands
This is the way any woman complains if she must take care of all the wedding preparations. When seeing a dress with many arms, she becomes cheerful. Only until she realizes that she must take care of them too…
She’ll rob him dry?
It would be good to find a groom quickly, until the bandages don’t fall off.
Art requires sacrifice
True, but I never imagined that we would be talking about human sacrifice.
No, do not wear at your wedding a bridal Dadaist dress, created in 1994 by Lesley Dill, which is now displayed at the Orland Museum of Art 4)”Becoming: The Photographs of Clementina, Viscountess Hawarden” by Carol Mavor, book published by Duke University Press in 1999.
Do not get seduced by the romantic air of the whole story, you will appear in front of your guests (who will be as modern as possible), looking like a drowned ghost of a bride, with the code name of your assassin written on the dress.
Worn with a crinoline on the back of the neck
A bride who has already put her dress over her head.
Hairdressed from head to toe
Thelma Madine is an eccentric creator of wedding dresses, fact confirmed by her appearance in the show “Big Fat Gypsy Weddings”, broadcasted on the British Channel 4 5)”Big Fat Gypsy Weddings” in Wikipedia. But the dress that she created out of hair is downright confusing!
Recipe: You make a classic prom dress, that has 12 layers. On it you apply brightly colored strands of “only” 230 meters. For a greater effect, add 1,500 crystals.
The dress, with a price estimated at 50,000 pounds, weighs more than 95 kilograms. I hope you weren’t intending to run away from the altar with it.
Russian doll is getting married!
Who hasn’t heard of Matryoshka? She’s a worldwide celebrity. So she could not wear anything else but a Yves Saint Laurent branded dress, right? It’s perfect for a bride that has something to hide…
Bridal veil 3 in 1
Beside its traditional use, the veil can be used as parasol and mosquito nets. It is helpful for brides who want to lift the veil on their own, simple and convenient.
Groom hunting season has opened.
A strongly accessorized dress
Let’s start the wedding! Round 1.
How would you like your wedding dress?
Blonde, tall, and with big tits!
Creator Zahia Dehar is a woman with no complexes, which made a stir in France. Her fashioned presentations are carefully monitored, especially since the final wedding dress is presented by herself.
Something is missing from this dress
Could it be missing good taste?
Tent bearer wedding dress
How many can get in?
Bride taken... in the balloon
Literally and figuratively. A dress recommended for women who are not afraid of stinging remarks.
If you don't say yes, I'll cut you!
An impressive deployment of forces.
Illusion or disillusion...?
A bride fresh out of the a magicians’s box. As it bends, I think she got touched a little by the saw, but – thank God – only the dress had to suffer!
A light bride...
Here’s a new idea that will make everyone happy: having a voluminous skirt, but you not having to carry the weight of the lace, tulle, silk, taffeta, you name it, after you. But the groom should keep her close, so she won’t fly away from him…
Hello Kitty! Farewell style!
When I was 20-some years, I was a fan of the Ninja Turtles. I excused myself from work to see my favorite cartoon series. I do not want to think what my wedding dress would have looked like if, hypothetically, someone would have loved me back then.
White dress from toilet paper...
For women who know the kind of shit they’re getting into?
There’s even a trend of toilet paper wedding dresses. Special techniques are conceived, contests are organized, etc. Some even look spectacular. At least until the rain comes.
And the Cashmere brand of toilet paper speculated the idea using it in its advertising campaigns.
Wedding dress with petticoat vent
Why does it give the impression that the bride had a fight with her tailor before sewing her dress?
The leash is empty. She must have escaped from the groom’s hand.
A very successful outfit for a celebration in kindergarten! No strawberries?
The dog ate her dress
And so, poor Ivana Greencardavitch had to marry in her underwear. And trying not to be too scantily dressed she sewed flowers from her bridal bouquet here and there. Thank God the dog didn’t like the groom’s clothes.
I have no idea why they had to write on their clothes, which one is the groom, which one is the bride, who is the best man… Maybe they thought that if the guests got drunk as a fiddler, they would know who’s who.
High up over the clouds
Hard to say whether the clouds dissipate or gather.
Jemma Sykes is a master at knitting, and a graduate of a prestigious art school – Royal College of Art.
While women with too much time on their hands knit a scarf or sweater, she got the idea to knit, 100% manual… a wedding dress! And as it was for a special event, she chose the best material: certified organic wool.
The resulting dress has a noble name: “The Elizabeth”.
In 2008, Norwegian singer Maria Mena wore this dress for a photo shoot to promote her album, “Cause and Effect” 6)”Cause and Effect (Maria Mena album)” in Wikipedia.
Finally, the dress was exhibited at the shopping center Harrods to become known and then auctioned for charity.
Bride in a body
And what a body!
The veil is worth every penny
Essential areas are marked and pronounced. The rest is made for the unknowing eyes.
Wedding dress made of plastic bags
Bride in a bag. Cheap.
Brides with trouser
Several fashion houses offer bridal outfits with pants. When will we see the groom with the train?
Love and soccer
Karen Bell and Simon, her life partner, are supporters of the soccer team Manchester City. For their wedding, she made a dress out of the collection of the favorite team’s t-shirts that Simon had collected in his youth. What appeared was a dream dress for a soccer fan. And after signing the papers, they went straight to a match 7)”And the bride wore blue: Bury woman marries wearing Manchester City wedding dress” by Mike Keegan, article published in Manchester Evening News on December 28, 2011.
Such a couple with a shared passion for soccer is interesting. On one hand, she will not mind that he wants to go to the game. On the other hand, he will not be able to escape her even there.
I thought he was called “ball boy”, but what doesn’t a woman madly in love do for her husband who is crazy about sports? In this case, wiffle ball – baseball version for small fields.
A prenuptial kind of insurance for the groom, she will take care to mitigate clashes in their marriage…
RRR style: Recycle, Recover, Reuse
Being environmentally friendly is one thing, to show up at your wedding as a living garbage can is another thing.
The bed at the altar
I understand the idea of the Japanese artist Yohji Yamamoto. Under the dress is the bed, the canopy is over, supported by some kind of live male caryatids. What I do not understand is what does the groom do with the supporters of the bride during the wedding night.
If her marriage doesn’t go as planned, at least she can take a photo for a contract with Playboy.
If it's a wedding, let it be a carnival!
The veil is mostly giving her trouble, but what could you do, that’s tradition.
Does she wear a veil and a garter? She’s a bride! If she has a show after the wedding, she must move quickly and less to undress.
Wedding dress with cake included
“I would even give my friends the clothes on me” seems to be the motto of the wedding dress designer Lukka Sigurdardottir, who uses a mixture of flour and icing sugar 8)”Amazing wedding cake dress by Lukka Sigurdardottir“, article published by NYDailyNews on January 20, 2010. Hard to say what the creator intended to achieve: a bride with a cake or a cake with a bride?
Disposable wedding dress
Will the bride be the same?
Oh bride, sweet bride!
Ukrainian confectionery Valentyn Shtefano did not settle only with baking an original idea about his lover’s wedding gown, he simply baked her whole dress. How? He molded 1500 cookies, wrapped them in caramel and arranged them on her 9)”Ukrainian pastry chef fashions wedding gown for his bride out of cream puffs” by Matt Hagengruber, article published by Pittsburgh Post-Gazette on October 16, 2006.
It looks more like a Christmas tree decorated with sweets than a bride, but love is blind, isn’t it?
If you like to have your hands free, you can weave your bridal bouquet outfit in Hawaiian style. I’m not sure what you’ll have to do when throwing the bouquet. But I would really like to be there!
She does not like to be buzzed around.
Brides in underwear
“Less is more,” said the poet Robert Browning, in 1855. Fewer words, more depth. Fewer details, more mystery. Less clothes, more… imagination.
Emperatriz is a lingerie brand that aims to dress the bride. But not too much. Sometimes they make one exception and the bride seems to be ready for the wedding dress. Or wedding night?
Brides and mice
Obviously, we cannot live without a computer mouse (the more, the better), but do we really have to formalize our relationship with them? Click Delete!
A dress that fits like... a glove
I dare not imagine how 7000 fingers would swarm around the bride on the way to the altar. British artist Susie MacMurray dared and she wanted to show us, since she sacrificed 1,400 latex gloves (just perfect for dish washing) to materialize the vision. As long as she’s well guarded, I’m not afraid…
Prevention is better than cure
If this proverb is more than welcoming when we’re talking about passenger sexual relations, favoring the emergence of STDs, why would a woman wear at her wedding a dress made entirely from condoms? Even those in Shoalhaven, Australia, who displayed “Connie” inside the City Council to draw attention to the problems caused by unprotected sex were pretty uncomfortable with “her” presence 10)”Condom wedding gown ‘shames region’” by Michelle Webster, article published by Illawarra Mercury on June 7, 2013. Anyway, for my question above, I see only one answer: it may be appropriate for women who know the saying: Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me.
Wedding dress that shows the belly
Wait, I do not understand: preparing for a wedding or a C-section?
Love passes, its fruits remain
Artist Briskin Heather woke up one day in 2004, with three babies and lots of diapers. And when the group exhibition of contemporary works in Hawaii “Textiles & Fiber 2004” was approaching, she had nothing to put on for this occasion, she thought she’d look good in a dress made exclusively out of diapers and safety pins. Said and done… “Baby Formal”, cause that’s the name of the dress in question.
That’s my story. The story in the press says that her exhibit “Baby Formal” generated laughter, although it has a serious side, that of associating the prom dress or wedding dress with dependency and incontinence 11)”Exhibit expands perception of fiber, textile works” by Victoria Gail-White, article published by Honolulu Advertiser on February 15, 2014.
Happiness made the dress pop on her!
They melt eyes.
Close connection of love
Who put a garter over her dress?
Relight my fire
Judging by what the dress looks like, I would say that the road to hell passes through the altar.
Plucked, disheveled, and eyes blackened. Unless she was in a beat down with another woman for the groom, I see no excuse…
She forgot the whip in the bedroom.
If we’re talking about spiders, the female has redefined the term “till death do us part”. But you know what males say, nothing stops an “intense” game. Are we still talking about spiders?
Latex wedding dress
Every bride wants to look slim in her bridal dress. If she already is, nothing can look better than latex. But it would be better to leave it for after fantasies…
I understand the woman who likes things in one piece. I see only one problem, when she takes the veil off the crown… with the entire dress.
Makes you remember Stay Puft (Marshmallow Man) from the movie “Ghostbusters”? In this “film” he was a “she” and her victim was a groom.
The dress that feels the bride
Bubelle is a prototype garment, presented by Phillips in September 2006. The dress has sensors that estimate the mood of the bearer. The better the mood, the lights illuminate more cheerful 12)”Bubelle Emotion Sensing Dress” by John Weir, article published in CrunchWear on November 2, 2007.
So any bride lights up instantly. She just needs to feel good. (If only she could, because those shoes were not the best choice.)
Half animal, half vegetable
Be careful not to step on the bride’s tail. It may hurt.
“Honey, it’s like you’re from another world!”
If you think it stops here, you’re wrong. Human imagination is infinite.
They say beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Even if they have a common source of inspiration, every idea goes through a twisted personality of creating, after entering the twisted personality of the beholder. We cannot talk of objectivity in any way, nor another.
The perspective of a wedding is ravaging your mind for a lot of disparate ideas, some practical, some fanciful, some sensible, others absurd… It’s hard to weave them all, as some threads in the fabric of a dress are perfect for you. All you can do, however, is leave them alone to structure your personality and to get you dressed as nicely as possible for being a bride.
A review of the most spectacular ladies footwear throughout the ages
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References [ + ]
|1.||↑||”The ultimate Valentine’s Day bouquet: Chinese man proposes to girlfriend with dress made from 9,999 real red roses” de Sadie Whitelocks, article published by Daily Mail on February 14, 2012|
|2.||↑||”Chinese Man Proposes to Girlfriend with Dress Made From 9,999 Roses” by Lori Zimmer, article published by Ecouterre on February 24, 2012|
|3.||↑||”12 Of The Most Expensive Designer Wedding Dresses” by Amanda Lauren, article published by The Richest on December 16, 2014|
|4.||↑||”Becoming: The Photographs of Clementina, Viscountess Hawarden” by Carol Mavor, book published by Duke University Press in 1999|
|5.||↑||”Big Fat Gypsy Weddings” in Wikipedia|
|6.||↑||”Cause and Effect (Maria Mena album)” in Wikipedia|
|7.||↑||”And the bride wore blue: Bury woman marries wearing Manchester City wedding dress” by Mike Keegan, article published in Manchester Evening News on December 28, 2011|
|8.||↑||”Amazing wedding cake dress by Lukka Sigurdardottir“, article published by NYDailyNews on January 20, 2010|
|9.||↑||”Ukrainian pastry chef fashions wedding gown for his bride out of cream puffs” by Matt Hagengruber, article published by Pittsburgh Post-Gazette on October 16, 2006|
|10.||↑||”Condom wedding gown ‘shames region’” by Michelle Webster, article published by Illawarra Mercury on June 7, 2013|
|11.||↑||”Exhibit expands perception of fiber, textile works” by Victoria Gail-White, article published by Honolulu Advertiser on February 15, 2014|
|12.||↑||”Bubelle Emotion Sensing Dress” by John Weir, article published in CrunchWear on November 2, 2007|